Does Reminiscing make me sad/ Are Insecurities always bad?

During reminiscing I find myself sometimes staring into space and thinking about the good times I’ve had in my most recent relationship. Thinking of all the good times we had, all the insecurities I had within myself at the beginning hoping they wouldn’t have an adverse affect on this new person in my life. My heart tell me sometimes “you better stop doing this to me, or I’m going to cry” but my mind tells my heart “we don’t need to cry about this, we expected it, and we dealt with it accordingly”. Truth is I don’t know if my mind is right because at the end of the day what really bothers me is that I’m even able to say to myself don’t cry.  I have never been a person to hide my emotions; I don’t think I should have to pretend to be somebody I’m not. This fact though brings me to focus of this blog.

Reminiscing doesn’t always have to make you sad; it’s only human to miss those things that made you happy. It’s also only human to want to experience those things again and feel those feelings again. A bad experience one time shouldn’t keep you from trying your best to live your life to the fullest, and it definitely shouldn’t make you feel as though you need to punish the next person for your past misfortunes.

So yes, reminiscing is “sad” per-say, but no reminiscing doesn’t make me sad. What makes me sad is the feeling of wasted time, or effort, maybe even the fact that I loved someone who obviously didn’t love me back. At the end of the day though, I’m finally at the point where I can see that all is not lost. I feel like the memories I had are memories for a reason, and with all this life ahead of me I can’t help but wonder what new memories I’ll soon be strong enough to experience romantically.

Insecurities vary depending on how you personally want to define them. So while Insecurity defined as “Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety” it can also be defined as “Inadequately guarded or protected” the later will be my definition. Insecurities to me are those parts of you that you hide from others as to protect yourself from harm emotionally. Most of the time only those people closest to you know those insecurities just by being around you for an extended period of time and getting to know you, someone like a brother or best friend.  These insecurities can lead to quite a few positive traits as well, let’s say you’re the type of person who falls to fast, sooner or later all the pain will lead you to become a hermit of sorts with your heart. You will find yourself protecting your heart by not letting it out to soon, not saying the L-Word” to fast, and finally being able to build a relationship with someone without investing too much too soon.

Socially insecurities are more often than not associated with a person’s bad characteristic, my insecurities though actually worked positively from my aspect of the relationship. They allowed me to be prepared for the “jackassery” to come. I do have a bit of advice though, although everyone has their insecurities, it may be best to not let them control your life, you have to live and let live. Some things just aren’t worth stressing over…I mean think about the things insecurities do for us that are positive, everyone is different. The trick is to overcome those insecurities, and until they are overcome use them to your advantage, if you know you fall to fast, protect yourself, if you know you have issues with clinginess get a hobby!

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One Response to “Does Reminiscing make me sad/ Are Insecurities always bad?”

  1. Pretty heavy shit man. Definitely food for thought.

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